Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Scary Movie 5 (2013)
  • Time: 86 min
  • Genre: Comedy
  • Director: Malcolm D. Lee
  • Cast: Ashley Tisdale, Erica Ash, Lindsay Lohan


Happily-married couple Dan and Jody begin to notice some bizarre activity once they bring their newborn baby Aiden home from the hospital. But when the chaos expands into Jody’s job as a ballet dancer and Dan’s career as an Ape researcher, they realize their family is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of certified experts and the aid of numerous cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it’s too late.


  • This is a complete waste of time. The previous “Scary Movie”-films all had stories that made sense to parody a range of different horror films. They all had a unique story that combined lots of different films. However “Scary Movie 5” doesn’t make sense, doesn’t make you laugh and has terrible acting. It’s funny how this movie was marketed with big pictures of Charlie Sheen, when he is in the movie for about a total of 3 minutes. This is one of the worst films I have ever seen and definitely will never be seen by me again! The first scary movie was pretty funny from there on it went down the road with this movie as the lowest point you can get!

  • Dan and Jody a happily-married couple start to witness strange occurrences when they bring home their newly adopted kids. They soon learn that they are being stalked by a demon and take the necessary steps to rid their lives of it before it’s too late.

    Who remembers how awesome the first 2 Scary Movies were? Can the same be said for the last 3? No. honestly I don’t know why they still make em. Scary Movie 5 has to be the worse for me personally. All it is now is just slapstick humour. They need to bring back the Wayans brothers and reboot the franchise.

    Scary Movie 5 as always spoofs numerous films such as;

    Paranormal Activity, Inception, Black Swan, Insidious, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, The Cabin in the Woods, Sinister and Evil Dead.

    Read full review here –

  • As I entered the theater to view Scary Movie 5, I had a feeling that it would be a lousy movie. I mean, I knew what I was getting into. Truth is, I probably shouldn’t have gone. My ten dollars along with the $10 contribution of millions of other moviegoers is the main reason why these films continue to get made. Like I said in my previous review of Scary Movie (2000), these turkeys don’t cost a lot to make. This one was probably around $20 million. It ended up making a little more than $60 million worldwide. Which brings me to my next thought, I don’t think the people working on them care whether they are bad or not. They know that the misguided audience member will somehow get duped into thinking they’re seeing something relevant. But after 80-85 short nutrition free minutes (that’s the normal running time), they as an audience, just wasted an amount of life that will never come back. Every second counts you know in the stratosphere that is movie land.

    Now I liked the first Scary Movie. As I stated in my review of it, I thought it was the first of its kind. Just like Airplane (1980) spoofed airports and flying, this one was an original spoof of horror films. But they really should have stopped after the first one. I remember seeing the last 20 minutes of it and realized that a sequel would not work, should not work, and will not work. Scary Movie 5 makes some big mistakes, humongous I tell you. The first is having it be rated PG-13. That’s difficult to pull off because the tone is lazy. Everyone is basically trying to project R rated humor in a PG-13 film. I guess the studios are trying to bring in a younger crowd. This is, in my opinion, is to make money. What a silly way of thinking. The first Scary Movie was a huge box office success. It had the cojones to push the envelope on gross out humor. That’s why I recommend it even to this day. Scary Movie 5 is a tired exercise that maybe belts out three and four genuine guffaws, that’s it. Then there is the second mistake this film commits which is trying to spoof the Paranormal Activity movies. It would have worked had it been done maybe 4 or 5 years ago when it was a fresh concept in everybody’s mind. But just like the Scary Movie franchise, there have been I guess three Paranormal Activity sequels/prequels ever since. And let’s face it, those movies have pretty much already spoofed or parodied themselves. Finally, there is the preview of this movie which I saw a couple times before viewing the actual product. Some of the scenes in it were actually kinda funny. Guess what, almost none of them are in the final cut. Are you kidding me, wow what a clever bait and switch.

    I could go on and on how disposable this film is but I’ll refrain. Here’s one more tidbit: Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan do a cameo in the first five minutes of Scary Movie 5. It was probably the funniest portion of the movie. I kinda wondered why they weren’t the stars and had been asked to carry the weight. But who are we kidding, their careers have already been dented enough. I’m starting to wonder if they even wanted to get things back on track. I guess not. Oh a lot of washed up entertainers seem to taint the heck out of this thing. In addition to Sheen and Lohan, we have Snoop Dogg, Heather Locklear, Molly Shannon, Jerry O’Connell, Jasmine Guy (yeah, I couldn’t make this up if I tried), and Mike Tyson (he was in the film for 10 seconds, good for him). They must be really desperate to be on screen cause it seems like we haven’t seen them in a long while.

    Here’s another thing I was wondering: Did the actual Morgan Freeman do the narration for Scary Movie 5 or was someone imitating him? Lord I hope not because if it was actually Freeman, I might have to stop going to movies forever. I might be scarred for life.

    If you really wanna to check out this abomination, it’s your choice. Just stay away from the closing credits. They’re outtakes that are much worse than the movie itself. And they feel staged like they were actually scripted. Yeah I payed my ten bucks and sat in the theater. If I had to do it over again, I’d probably just go home and watch dust form. That’s quality entertainment compared to this.

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