Moonraker (1979)

Moonraker (1979)
  • Time: 126 min
  • Genre: Action | Adventure | Crime
  • Director: Lewis Gilbert
  • Cast: Roger Moore, Lois Chiles, Michael Lonsdale


James Bond is back for another mission and this time, he is blasting off into space. A spaceship traveling through space is mysteriously hi-jacked and Bond must work quickly to find out who was behind it all. He starts with the rockets creators, Drax Industries and the man behind the organisation, Hugo Drax. On his journey he ends up meeting Dr. Holly Goodhead and encounters the metal-toothed Jaws once again.

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  • Moonraker held the record of being the worst James Bond movie ever made, that is until we were hit with ‘The Living Daylights’ and ‘License to Kill’ and even they they only held the record for a short time before the movies that seemed to have come out of a random title maker (Tomorrow Never Dies and the World is Not Enough) were released, but it has been quite a while since I have seen those one, so I will not pass judgment until I actually watch them again.

    Anyway a space shuttle is being loaned to the British by the Americans (I didn’t think the British had a Space Program, let alone the facilities to launch a space shuttle, but then again, this is a James Bond movie and logic tends not to play a huge role – also, I didn’t think the shuttle program had started at this time – no wonder the Russians got the idea of the space shuttle, the stole the idea off of a James Bond movie) and the guy who sold it to the Americans, who are in turn loaning it to the British (for whatever reason only the film makers actually know), decides that he wants it back so, instead of saying ‘hey, can I have my space shuttle back, I need it to take over the world’ he steals it. This was a bad move because it means that Bond has to go on an adventure so that he can push this guy out of an airlock (oh, sorry, I gave away the ending).

    So Bond travels to California where he meets a beautiful woman, but she is killed. While he is snooping around this house, he find a single reference to Venice, so, for no other reason than this single reference to Venice, he decides to go to Venice (hey, any excuse to go to Venice). When he gets to Venice he meets a beautiful woman, and drives a Gondolla through the middle to St Mark’s Square (there are a lot more pigeons there than when I went). He then sees a crate with Rio De Janero on the side. Guess he better go to Rio, but then again, I don’t blame him. When he gets to Rio he meets a beautiful girl.

    However, the bad guy his having some difficulties killing James Bond because Bond seems to be immune to death, and when he discovers that Jaws is in between jobs, he decides to hire him to kill James Bond. So Jaws eats a cable that holding up a cable car, and then crashes the cable car into a building where – he meets a beautiful woman.

    However Bond’s travels haven’t come to an end yet because they learn that the bad guy is making a deadly poison out of a flower that grows only in the middle of the Amazon rainforest, so he goes on a boating expedition and gets into a boat fight with a bunch of boats. While fighting the boats he once again outwits Jaws, who goes flying off the top of a waterfall, and as it turns out, like James Bond, Jaws is also immune to death.

    Then I discover, thanks to James Bond, that there is actually a Mayan Pyramid in the middle of the Amazon rainforest. I also discover what ridiculously rich people actually want all their money for – they want to build a fleet of space shuttles, fill them full of beautiful people (some of which James Bond met, but before he can make a witty comment about being surrounded by beautiful women, he is dumped into a pool of water which contains – no, not piranhas, but a boa-constrictor), fly them up to a space station, and then spray nerve gas on the rest of the world so that he can have it all to himself.

    We also learn that the US has a battalion of Space Marines, just in case a super villain, or a ridiculously rich capitalist, decides to build a space station and populate it full of beautiful people, so that he can then kill all the ugly people, and return the Earth to some form of Edenic paradise. His mistake was that he forgot that Jaws and his girlfriend weren’t actually beautiful people.

    The moral of this story – don’t upset Jaws.

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