Machete (2010)

machete1_2010_poster
Machete (2010)
  • Time: 105 min
  • Genre: Action | Crime | Thriller
  • Directors: Robert Rodriguez, Ethan Maniquis
  • Cast: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Steven Seagal, Michelle Rodriguez

Storyline:

The highly skilled Federale Machete is hired by some unsavory types to assassinate a senator. But just as he’s about to take the shot, he notices someone aiming at him and realizes he’s been set up. He barely survives the sniper’s bullet, and is soon out for revenge on his former employers, with the reluctant assistance of his brother Cheech Marin, who has become a priest and taken a vow of nonviolence. If you hire him to take out the bad guys, make sure the bad guys aren’t you!

One review

  • I’ve never been a fan of Robert Rodriguez, and I am not sure his fanbase are aware of the amateurish nature of virtually everything he has made. In the nearly 20 years he has been making movies he’s never graduated to being a serious filmmaker. His pal Tarantino is lights years ahead of him.

    This piece of crap movie was born out of the fake trailer between the movies of full “Grindhouse” experience a few years back. Remember that notorious bomb that nearly crippled Harvey Weinstein? Only the movie isn’t really Grindhouse. The fake dirt and scratches laid over the opening scene disappear after the credits, and it looks like any old generic TV show for the most part with bland photography. If it kept up the dirt and scratches aesthetic, however fake, I would have respected it just a tiny little bit more.

    It’s not a Grindhouse film, it doesn’t have the balls to be. It’s just a cheap, amateurish killing spree with lots of fake, CGI blood and boring characters. I assume Rodriguez has dirt or incriminating Polaroid’s on absolutely every member of the cast as I can’t think of any reason why anyone would willfully agree to be in this abortion. I wouldn’t have this garbage listed on my filmography. I wouldn’t even want it listed on my toilet paper.

    Don’t get me wrong, I like Danny Trejo and I LOVE Michelle Rodriguez, but this film was so bad that upon watching it a second time I actually found myself reading a factual book halfway through as it was rotting my brain that much.

    It’s an angry 15-year-old’s wet dream. It’s one of the worst films I have seen in my life. I feel ashamed for watching it once. I feel like opening up my wrists for watching it twice.

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